Darn it!!! My self-consciousness...

UFF..!!! I forgot to part my hair towards the left. UUGGGHHH!! what to do, how would I be looking? I have to rush to the school washroom as soon as the bus hits the gate of the premises. I am supposed to give this presentation in front of my seniors, what if I mumble and forget everything? I have to pick up my kid from school, but I look like SH**, what if people think I am not decent enough to be seen in public?

I was and I am still self-conscious. About everything!

I always wanted to explore my creativity and so-called knowledge towards doing things more practically and vividly clear without any prejudice, but under the misty fog of audience judgment and speculation, I sometimes fail to deliver aptly. And I know it is just not me, this trait is inborn or later acquired in life by many or moreover to say by all, leaving behind some rare exceptional awe-inspiring personalities. In awe, because they don't care what others perceive of them. So basically, the conjectures about their indifferent attitude and behavior are left unquestioned. It affects and encompasses all categories of human specimens varying from teenagers to golden ager.

It is difficult, not impossible to let aside this conscious state of mind when we master it once. That's true, seriously. I have observed and staunchly believe. You will always have control of your sole actions and doings but never about the consequences or assumptive ideas, views, and opinions others will have of you. In short, ditching oneself to adjust and register in someone else's view is just equally weird and absurd and pointless too. It's okay to think but not overthink, because once we overdo, we will always stay as a captive, giving free permits to anyone and everyone to override us and lead us to self-destruction. We lose our own decisive power, and become more dependent on others to choose our future course of life.

NO ONE CARES!!! It's just what I have to say. It is just us and our inner belittler in a squabble that is worthlessly trying to bend and mold us into something non-substantial. Weigh yourself and your judgment, master it gradually, and then feel the burden of self-disapproval gone in a blink, that has been bothering you for a long time. I just give you a kick start to begin with, here, through my blog, the rest you will figure it out eventually, and if not I am always here.

By and by, laugh out loud at yourself, for the imperfection we all have and silly things that we have been doing to fit into this imperfect world, just because we are so self-obsessed that we forget to FIX ourselves first.

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